Heaven Holds
by Lalenna
Summary: Heaven will hold the ones you love when you can no longer..but how do you carry on without them? Charater Death. Sara? CathSara friendship
1. Tears Clear My Eyes

Title: Heaven Holds The Ones I Love

Disclaimer: CSI does not belong to me. I'm a poor uni student so please don't sue :P

A/N: Yes it has been an awfully long time. I know I've said it before…I'm so sorry with it taking so long with the update. Uni's amazing but very time consuming. Things are slowly starting to clam down. CSI Santa 2006 opened for sign-ups Monday and working on the site and all has put in a a CSI mood...lets hope it stays :)

Check out the site at www(dot)freewebs(dot)com/csisanta06

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_**As tears clear my eyes I finally realise that happiness is where you are.**_

Sara, like everyone else at the Las Vegas Crime Lab and Police Department, knew that danger was part of the job. They'd had plenty of proof in the seven years she'd been in Vegas – Nick's stalker, the Lab explosion, her incident in the psych ward, Nicks kidnapping, Brass' shooting and more recently Catherine and Greg's attack. Still the call of 'officer down' gripped her stomach and made her feel sick. The Lab seemed to grind to a halt as everyone waited desperately for the initial news. Everyone thinking the same agonising questions – Who was it? How badly were they hurt? Everyone praying it wasn't the last and most painful thought – Was the officer down for good? Sara looked up as the break room door opened, hoping it was the guys back from the crime scene

"Who was at the scene?" Catherine asked as she hurried into the room.

"Grissom, Greg, Nick, Warrick, Brass and about half of the Las Vegas Police Department, It's the Miller case, massive publicity. All I know is there's an officer down. " Sara stated trying not to let the worry creep into her voice at the lack of new information. " No news on how bad it is. The guy then turned the gun on himself, killed outright."

"How come you're here?" Catherine asked as she sat next to the other female CSI.

"I was waiting for the evidence to turn up for processing." Sara said with a sigh. "How come you're here. I thought you had the night off."

"Judy rang to say there was a call of officer down, can you see me having the night off now? Anyway, I wanted to know what was happening." Both turned as the break room door was pushed open again. "About time. We were starting to worry," Catherine said as the night shift moved into the room. "What happened? Who was the officer down?" Catherine stopped as she caught the sombre faces and lost looks.

"Where's…" Sara started the stopped.

"I'm so sorry Sara." Sad eyes turned to hers.

Sara felt the blood seep from her face before someone's grip on her arm steadied her.

"No. He can't…" Sara's voice failed as she looked at the pale drawn faces of her co-workers, her friends. Numbness crept over her.

"Sara, are you okay?" Someone asked her though she didn't know whom. It didn't matter anyway. Nothing mattered anymore, not now he was gone.


	2. At Times Im Unsure

_**At times I am unsure, why our hearts must endure, all this pain and such great loss.**_

Sara felt like she had been crying forever but still that didn't stop the tears from falling as his casket was slowly lowered into the deep darkness of the ground. The gentle thud as it hit the bottom made her stomach turn. Trying to compose herself enough to move forward Sara realised she didn't have the strength left to mask her grief. She felt warm solid arms circle her waist, holding her steady. Her head knew it couldn't be who she wished it was, but her heart for one heartbreaking second pretended. Those arms steadied her as she stepped forward. Sara knelt in the dry dust and dropped the two roses she had been clutching onto the glossed wood of his coffin.

One yellow. One pink.

She was the only one with roses, they stood out among the mass of other flowers. Two different from everything else, even each other, but close enough to be the same. First yellow for friendship, then pink for new love. After dating for over a year she asked why he still sent her pink roses, Sara still remembered him smile as he replied 'because with you it's always new and exciting and exhilarating and perfect. My love for you will never get old."

Sara felt her heart ache at the memory. No more roses now he'd left her.

"Come on Sara. I'll take you home." Sara startled, her vision shimmering again as she looked at Catherine who stood beside her.

"I don't want to leave him," her voice was childlike soft as she tried to stop the silent tears.

"I know honey, but we have to leave now." Sara felt Catherine's arms replace those that had been around her before she was being led away. Forced to leave the one person who had met everything to her. Sara lapsed back into her memories. Back to when he was with her.


	3. I Feel Your Kiss In The Rain

_**But look what I've gained. I feel your kissing the rain. It's your smile I miss the most.**_

_Flashback_

"We can't go out in THAT!" Sara laughed as she tried to pull away from him.

"It's a little bit of rain." She could tell he was laughing at her from the tone in his voice.

"There's nothing little about that amount of water! I'd be dryer standing under the shower." He just smiled at her as she melted. That smile had held the world for her and she had only just begun to discover it. Giving up she had let him pull her into the cool downpour, laughing as he smiled in triumph.

"So good first date?" is voice changed, lost its teasing tone, as he looked at her.

"The best," she replied with a smile stepping closer to him.

"Good," was all he got out before his lips caught hers. Their first kiss.

_End Flashback_

The rain started as Catherine pulled up outside the apartment. Within seconds sheets of water thundered around the car from the thick clouds that had been gathering for days.

"We'd better wait here for a few minute," Catherine said but Sara was already out of the car and letting the rain wash over her. Sara closed her eyes ad she was standing in the rain with him again. She could feel his kiss on her lips and smiled.


	4. Youre Still The Biggest Part Of Me

_**But I'm still a part of you and you're still the biggest part of me.**_

Sara counted down the seconds wondering if time was going slow deliberately to taunt her. Her legs felt weak and she realised her breathing was too fast, too shallow. Sitting down she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. God she wanted him here with her more than anything else.

"Are you okay Sara?" Catherine's voice came from the other side of the bathroom door.

Sara looked at the pregnancy test in her hand. She'd already known what the result would be but Catherine had said to be sure. Sara stood up and walked to the door. Opening it she saw Catherine's worried face.

"Pregnant." Sara said softly. Catherine moved to embrace the younger woman but Sara moved out of reach. "I'm okay Catherine. I'm going out for a bit."

"Are you sure that's a good idea Sar?" Catherine said still looking worried.

"I'll be fine. I won't be long Cath. I promise." Sara said grabbing her coat and making her way out of Catherine's apartment. Sara made her way from Catherine's apartment to the cemetery fifthteen minutes away. She smiled as she sat next to the headstone, her fingers moved to trace the sunken lettering.

"How am I going t do this without you? I didn't think this is what you meant when you said you'd never leave me." Sighing Sara placed a yellow and pink rose beside the tombstone. Standing she took a lost look before softly saying, "I love you."

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So want to know who died???...Well for once Im not after reviews but ppl to sign-up to CSI Santa 2006..We've had 12 wonderful ppl sign-up in 2 days...ace or what...but I want more!!!!!

check the site...www(dot)freewebs(dot)com/csisanta06

Sign-up and mention in the email that youve read this and after 5ppl have signed up Ill update...Im evil I know lol. Loves you all really :)

-Lenna


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